Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I win. Take that scissors.

I found the end!! I picked up that darn bobbin for at least 5-10 minutes every day since I found it had be visited by scissors. I skipped a whole day for a craft show, but on Sunday I picked up the bobbin, and she looked like this:
snarled mess


Not even 30 seconds after picking a string to tug, I found it! I found the end!


I found you!

And a few days later I had a bobbin full of plied yarn!

Finally Plied

Now to set the twist tomorrow, and it will be ready for my next (and last before the big Esty shop update!) craft show on Saturday!

It feels so good to win this one.

~Kara

Set Sail

Fair warning. What you are about to read is far more then I've ever shared on my blog, and far more then I've ever shared with many people at all.  But I share because I know I can't be alone. I share because I need to work through it, and know that others may see see it, and then to, realize it's okay to have these emotions, and that it is possible to come out on the other side brighter, happier and while still there can be moments of fog, the sun does break through.



On November 15th we got our very first module in the Journey of the Golden Fleece Fiber Creativity course.  And I printed and read it. And I read it again.  Choose a starting point.  One that was a pivotal moment in your time line that affected your creativity.  I have many pivotal moments in my life.  One's I hardly remember through my own memories, but definitely had a definitive effect on me, like my sisters cancer when she was 5 and me just 2. Ones I remember all to well sometimes, Like the one time I finally broke it off with the worlds biggest looser, and no, not in the weight department. He was mean, and not a very nice person.  That year at fashion design school, that was full of really screwed up events.  The moment I walked into that bar and met Mr. Right, but did not even know it for at least 3 months. Or that time I was unexpectedly pregnant at 19 (with my now husbands baby) that I miscarried.  Or when I found out I was pregnant and it stuck, which produced Mr. Duck.  Or when I got Married.  Or moving to our current community. Or discovering the joy of spinning, by accident while searching for homemade cloth diaper patterns for Zoo.
 Or that moment, when I discovered I was pregnant with Miss Jo.  Nothing has ever stopped me in my tracks so abruptly and fully and forcibly.   It was unexpected.  I was tracking my cycles.  We were abstaining when we should have.  We had decided two was enough, and that I would begin the steps to make an addition to the family impossible.  It was the day of my appointment that I realized that I was pregnant.  I took the standard pre procedure test, and it confirmed it.  "yes. You are pregnant. What are we going to do from here?"  Well, while I'm prochoice for others, I'm so strongly pro life for me.  That was a completely unthinkable thing.  It wasn't going to happen.  So began the internal battle that felt all to familiar.  It was like I was 19 again, reliving the obviously conflicting feelings.  One moment would be joy and elation and wonderment and that feeling you get when you look into the future ands see all your hopes and dreams.  Then the next moment, regret, and denial, and utter fear, though this time not for the fear of the unknown, but the fear of the known. Knowing just how hard it is to have a baby, the pregnancy, sure, that's easy enough (for me anyway) but the after fact.  The knowledge of the challenges that lie ahead, all struck fear in me.  And I began to feel resentful. I felt like I was robbed of things. Robbed of the fun things you can't do while pregnant, like take your 5 year old skiing for the first time, teach figure skating, or of future events I'd planned that involved only the 4 of us, and that would be nearly impossible if not completely impossible with 5.  And of course, when  you feel resentment, there comes the guilt following shortly behind.  Guilt because you should be so thankful for such a wonderful gift. Guilt, because you should love being pregnant. Guilt, because you get what others can't have.
 So that's my starting point, and I'm sure you are wondering just exactly how that ties into the whole Creativity part of the journey.  Well, that comes down the line a bit, after having birthed my baby girl via c-section.  And struggled through trying to breastfeed a baby that refused to.  And all that comes with having a baby.  I'll get into all that in further posts.  But this moment is the one that set so many things in motion, like my endless need to escape the stressors of my life, which sent me to Olds College for Fibre Week and the Master Spinners course, opening a whole new world of yarn and possibilities.  It deepened my passion for this art, in an odd way, as it drove me to escape into my yarns.  To have a 'very valid excuse' to be taking time for me and my need to make.  This is where I begin.  I will heal the hurts I still bear from this part of my life through creating yarn.
Step one is to finally journal, and I'll tell you now, there will be a lot more in that then I'll share with you, but I will keep posting, getting to where I am today on this journey. 
At some point I will find my mentors in this. They must be there. I just couldn't say who they are/were off the top of my head, but I suppose that will also come with the journaling.  This is my start of that process.  Water colours, sharpie markers, and crayons.  And tea. everything's better with tea ;)
Journey to the Golden Fleece :: Where it starts

 Now if you've you've made it this far, thanks for reading it.   And I leave you with my current mantra: "Embrace the Chaos"

~Kara

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Making it official.

Not like it wasn't already.  Spinning is a HUGE part of my life, and as it stands, it will be a long and wonderful part my life. So, why not emblazon it upon my flesh forever?  My lady, on my side. There's more to do, as this is the outline only. There will be yarn, and words and color.  But that all takes time. I'll be sure to update when there's progress.

~Kara

Friday, November 8, 2013

Sometimes scissors happen

Happily plying along and this happens 
It appears as tho scissors went walking across my bobbin, and I can't find this guys twin.  In a move that surprised me, I did not loose my mind. I did not hunt out the offending little hand who gave those scissors legs. I took a breath and walked away.  It's not the end of the world. It's just a cut thread. It's disappointing, as I was set to have this yarn finished by the end of the night. Now it sits. 
A little mangled from trying to find that cut end, but still in decent shape. It's fixable, I can splice. If I find the end.

This probably helped my emotions
My 8 year old, shortly before the incident, walked in and grabbed an empty spindle, a handful of fluff and started spinning.  Completely on his own accord, absolutely no cajoling  was required.  It was nice. 
 
Today, I'll try to find that end, if I can find the time. It's my husbands birthday, so there are a few important things to do like cake making, and house cleaning, and I have to pop into work with the two littles tagging along.  It will make for a long day, but as Dori says 'just keep swimming' and that's what I intend to do!

~Kara

Monday, November 4, 2013

Journeys

I've come to the realization that life is not simply a journey, but a series of journeys intended to shape you in to your best you.  They can be journeys that challenge you, affirm you,  change your direction, propel you forward or knock you square on your butt. These journeys can be presented to you as choices, and you can seek them out, or they can throw themselves at you, or you can have made the choice before you even noticed you had a choice.

The Master Spinners course is one of these journeys that I went out and found. It was a journey I chose to take as a means to an end.  At the time of the decision, the end goal was a vacation. And at the time a vacation was something I felt guilty and selfish about wanting, but the thought of it as being education justified it, freeing me from my guilt.  The end goal now, being nearly half way through my journey is so much more then a justifiable vacation.  The end goal is a career as an author, a teacher, a skilled business person.  Some of these things will come naturally, some will require practice and training, but I'm up for this journey.  It will be long and present it's challenges, but I'm looking forward to everything this brings my way.

A new part of the fibre journey I'm on that was presented to me recently is the Journey to the Golden Fleece.  The original thought I had a week ago when I decided to take this journey, was that is was an escape from the rigours of homework, and technical spinning.  (see a trend here? so do I....) But after signing up and receiving the initial task I see that this will be more then a vacation for my mind.  This is creative journey, and one I'm taking as a journey of self discovery as well.  I know there is so much magic that can come from my fingers. I know the need to just make and the need for freedom screams to me some days, and I don't always get the opportunity to do that. With this course I will have to make the time to just create, and the guidance through out will help direct me.

As a part of this journey I've decided to do the "unapologetically me" thing.  I will be posting the randomness that comes into my head here, and on Facebook, and Twitter and Pinterest.   No doubt I will still be posting as much as I normally do (which is sporadically and infrequently but that's just how it will be for now) But don't be surprised when I start pinning really weird stuff!

If you happen to be a spinner, and wish to join The Journey to the Golden Fleece you still have time! They are accepting sign ups until the 15th of November.

Off to spin (some very basic and plain yarn ;) )

~Kara

Friday, November 1, 2013

Found it Friday - Happy Sheep Pictures

Just some pictures of sheep that make me happy today!

Colorful sheep!! I'll spin the wool of the guy in the back.   Love that blue colour!

Found on The Purled Ewe

A sheep groomed as though he was a prize winning show poodle!  Look how fun he looks! 


Found on MudFooted

The joy of finding these pictures is I have two new blogs to visit!  

~ Kara